Warning Signs





			RETURN TO HOMEPAGE




	THE WARNING SIGNS

	We’re tired of walking out of movies always thinking, “I knew it was gonna suck. The preview had all the warning signs of assness.”

Trust your movie instincts, but, just to be sure, double check the Warning Signs. Created via the scientific method, of hypothesis, observation and testing a pattern has been recognized and these signs have been named.

Especially since a preview is a genetic sample of the larger movie organism. If we analyze the cell samples, or, the scenes/images, we capture and understand the bigger picture.

		Why waste or precious time, money and energy if we know what we’re getting? Life is too short and there are too many good movies that deserve our attention.

The fist step in not having a bad movie experience is paying attention to the warning signs.


	(Below the Signs are listed along with a poster for a movie whose preview is a great example of that Warning-Click to see the preview).


	It’s not really clear what the story is, or, if there is one

Not really sure who the characters are

Totally focuses on Genre


	No name actors bring into question the thespian performance level


	The preview whores out “Academy Award Nominee” or “Academy Award Winner.”

#10


	Same old jokes, explosions or scares

The preview whores out “From Director of...”


	When there is NO mention of the actor’s Oscar nominations or Oscar victories.


	There is more than 2 writers on the movie


	The actors in the movie look like other more famous actors

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15


	The poster / title design looks a little too much like another movie that was a great B.O. Success


	The director’s less successful movies aren’t mentioned.

ADD/MTV style editing makes you ask, “what the f#ck’s going on.”


	You didn’t laugh once during the preview... and it’s suppose to be a comedy!

The “hottie factor” is all that’s being used to attract attention to the movie

#16

#17

#18

#19

#20


	Illogical! Story makes no sense if you take 2 seconds to think about it

When the preview says, “From pulitzer prize winning author...” but doesn’t say, “From the pulizter prize winning book.”


	When there is NO mention of “from the director of....” and it’s helmed by a big name director

Four words: “From the Producer of...”


	It’s another sequel, but the title doesn’t have a Roman numeral in it

#21

#22

#23

#24

#25


	You have to suspend not only your disbelief, but also your belief

Movieja Vu: You feel like you’ve seen this before...and done better


	The preview promotes B-list actors as if they were A-list stars

Promotes itself as the greatest thing since viagra


	A musician, wrestler or supermode l trying to act

#26

#27

#28

#29

#30


	The actors aren’t mentioned during the preview


	You have one question after seeing the preview: “Is this a straight-to-video movie?”


	It doesn’t one-up the prequels it sequels


	It’s obvious the actors are in it for an easy paycheck


	Trying too hard to get Academy Award attention

#31

#32

#33

#34

#35


	It’s not better than what’s on Network or Cable TV


	Not only is it a sequel of a remake, it’s a remake of a sequel!


	You’re already annoyed by the movie’s catch phrase / tagline

It has only one A-List Star, and it’s not and “art” film


	A-List supporting actors given starring roles

#36

#37

#38

#39

#40


	You’re laughing during the preview for all the wrong reasons

Doesn’t mention that it’s a remake / Pretends to be original


	The movie’s release date has been delayed many times

Obvious oscar winners / nominees not giving Oscar worthy performances

CONTACT TMPC

COMMENTS@THEMOVIEPREVIEWCRITIC.COM