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WHY THIS GOT THE GREENLIGHT
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A story from a book written by a guy who won a big writing award.
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=
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The producer and studio saying, “It’ll make at least 60 - 70 million. Good enough.”
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SEE THESE INSTEAD
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Looking for movies about star- crossed lovers? Check these out.
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Somewhere in Time
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Sleepless in Seattle
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Romeo and Juliet
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The Terminator
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MONEY SHOT WEEKEND BOX OFFICE PREDICTION
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$25million
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TOTAL BOX OFFICE PREDICTION
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$70million
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SOME THOUGHTS
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1) THE STORY MAKES NO SENSE!
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Why? Because they can meet anytime they want to!
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How? Because since Keanu is in the past, anything he does will happen right away for Sandra.
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Case in point: In the preview, Sandra writes, “I miss the lake house and it’s trees.”
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So, being the romantic in-love guy Keanu is, he digs up one of the lake house trees, puts it in his truck..
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....drives to Chicago...
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...and plants the tree if front of the not-yet-built condo complex where Sandra lives in the future...
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...and it grows to full size right in front of her!
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Instantly!
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Now, let’s not get into the logic of city zoning and permits. That tree would have been uprooted the next morning when the construction workers showed up, “Who the f#ck planted this tree?!”
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I guess logic and rational thinking is a romance killer.
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This is a lesson Keanu should remember from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure:
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He used time travel to escape jail!
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So, why after they realize that they’re not crazy, and they really are sending letters through time, all Sandra needs to say is, “I’m at the lake house 2 years in the future, meet me here! Mark it in your day planner.”
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And like the tree, he’ll be there right away. Because the present time affecting the past has immediate results! Just pay attention in science class or watch some Star Trek.
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2) THE STORY MAKES NO SENSE!
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3) The first 70 minutes will be them saying, “I can’t believe this is happening.”
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4) The guy who wrote the book this movie is based on won the pulitzer prize, but that book was not The Lake House. If it was, the preview would have said, “From the Pulitzer Prize winnning book.”
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5) Too self-centered.
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They have the ability to communicate through time, to change past so it alters the future, so, why doesn’t Sandra tell him about some world events that he might be able to change. For instance:
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August 2005: Hurricane Katrina hits New Orleans.
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December 2005: Tsunami hits Indonesia
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As is evident from this pic, Sandra can send more than just letters through the mailbox, like a scarf.
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Because, as Sandra says in the preview, “there was a freak blizzard in the spring of 2004, so watch out for that april snow.”
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Couldn’t she also have said, “There was a freak Tsunami that killed thousands of people, here’s The New York Times, a DVD copy of CNN’s news coverage that day, and the names and numbers of U.S. officials that could get the coastlines evacuated in Indonesia.”
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Granted, that might kill the romance, so if the story wants to stay focused on just these two mailbox crossed lovers, how about Sandra plans for their future a bit.
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“Here’s a list of stocks to invest in.”
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or
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“Here’s some lotto numbers to play.”
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or
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“Here’s some horses to bet on.”
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or
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“The White Sox will win the 2005 world series, get us some season tickets.”
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CONTRIBUTION TO CINEMA
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Pioneered the mailbox as a viable time travel device.
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Answered 12 years of movie audience prayers by reuniting Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.
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Proved that movies don’t need to be logical in order to get made.
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PLACE IN CINEMATIC HISTORY
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The Lake House
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WARNING SIGNS
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Illogical! Story makes no sense if you take 2 seconds to think about it!
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When the preview says, “From pulitzer prize winning author...” but doesn’t say, “From the pulizter prize winning book.”
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When there is no mention of “from the director of....”
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You have to suspend not only your disbelief, but also your belief.
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PROOF FROM THE PREVIEW THE MOVIE’S WORTH SEEING
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PROOF FROM THE PREVIEW THE MOVIE’S NOT WORTH SEEING
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Yes, a mailbox is the time travel machine!
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In Back to the Future it was a car, a bit more exciting.
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Exciting writing to the past!
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Exciting writing to the future!
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Dramatic Mailbox action!
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LET THE ANNOYING DIALOG AND CHEESY ROMANTIC NOTIONS BEGIN:
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“I sometimes feel as if I’m invisible. As if no one can see me at all.”
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You’re Sandra Bullock, everyone looks at you; girls want to be you, guys want to bang you. You don’t feel invisible.
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“It’s the same day, 2 years apart...this is insane.”
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Remember The Matrix? “This isn’t real!!!”
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“Even though this is clearly impossible, it’s amazing.”
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“How’s your sunset?”
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“It’s perfect.”
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“I only wish you were here to share it with me.”
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“It’s kind of a long distance relationship.”
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“Do you have a girlfriend?”
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“You’re gonna think I’m crazy.”
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“She was more real to me than anything I’ve ever known.”
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“It’s not meant to be.”
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“No! Don’t say that.”
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“The one man I can never meet.”
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“Him, I would like to give my whole heart to.”
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HOW CAN WE TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PAST AND PRESENT?
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In the past, it’s overcast.
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In the future, it’s sunny!
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AND EVEN MORE ANNOYING:
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Talking out loud as they write and read letters so the audience knows what’s going on, because, that’s what people do in real life, right?
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THE CLOSING ARGUMENT
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If you have an IQ above 50 and can form complex thoughts the logic flaws of this one will bother you like a splinter stuck under your fingernail.
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Not since Jerry Maguire has a movie unapologetically spat so many outdated cliché romantic notions at faces of the audience and expected them to lap it up like a pack of dehydrated desert stranded dogs.
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So, if you’re starved for high school puppy love notions of relationships where people “complete each other”, knock yourself out.
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But, if you like movies with stories that make sense, are half as smart as the 300 people in the audience watching it and explore human experience in new, interesting and challenging ways that go beyond the movies that have come before, then stay away from this one.
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